What happened today?

I felt a lot better today than I did the past few days. Nothing really changed, but I just took things as they were rather than worry about what else I could be doing better. That's a good start.

It was snowing all day today. One student complained that we shouldn't be in school today. Another chimed in to identify that we haven't had a full week of school in a month! Some students rejoiced at that thought. I'm all for snow days. I love sleeping in. I love drinking my latte while reading the paper on the couch with my dog. I love the relaxation that sweeps over you when you don't have to do anything. I'll take a snow day any day.

But I have a problem when students are mad, disappointed or otherwise questions why they have to be in school. When the weather is cooperating, why do we have to be here?, they wonder.

When I heard that conversation begin today, I jumped in. I posited: How is it that individuals in other countries work their whole lives in pursuit of an education; some don't have a school building, but put up with the rain and heat to learn outside from a teacher; still others, fearing they won't be allowed to learn, take to studying in a ditch on the side of a road, and yet, here they are with this amazing gift of public education and they'd rather be elsewhere. It's pretty sickening, when you consider that big picture.

A student from across the room, when I was finished pontificating, made a comment that threw me. He said, "Well, they're too stupid to know better. They still think education is a good thing." I calmly told him that his response was unacceptable, but I wanted to smack him upside the head! Okay, okay, he's just some spoiled kid. Get over myself already.

So, what's the problem then? Why don't they appreciate the education? Did I appreciate it? I can't remember clearly. I was always taken by information and learning, but I'm sure I would have preferred being elsewhere to school. Would it have helped to learn about how lucky I was? Perhaps this problem can be addressed with a more empathic education. Show our children how lucky they are and maybe they'll appreciate things more. Or maybe that's exactly why they don't appreciate it.

We appreciate the sunny day most after the week of rainy days.

Brings me back to my previous thought. Public Education, as a system, doesn't work. We need something new. Here's a crazy idea: let our children choose school. I can already hear the objections. Some will tell you our education system is in place to keep our kids off the street, from getting into trouble. I mean, we can imagine which kids would choose against school initially...and they'd make some wrong choices. Another objection is that brain development of children and adolescents doesn't allow for them to make rational decisions. Articles I read indicate that their decision-making is getting worse too. Students of today's generation will choose the instant gratification over something better for which they'll have to wait. Thanks technology.

But honestly, our system expects them to appreciate something that is forced on them. It's like appreciating prison. They don't know what the rainy days look like, so they can't appreciate the sunny ones in which they live. I've heard that Hawaii has a higher suicide rate for that same reason (I didn't check my facts on that though).

So, how can we orchestrate a system that allows choice but keeps them busy and from making the wrong choices?? Would it violate our country's child labor laws to give them the choice between school and work? I know a lot of friends who would choose school over work now that we're struggling through the real world. That reality should set in sooner.

Or we could bring back the institution of apprenticeship. Can the business world hire teachers instead of the government to train their future employees? Capitalism created efficiency in other areas of our society. Could it fix the education problem too? Well, now I'm getting political. It's something to think about though.

Failure of Public Education

So, as I mentioned before I'm a teacher. I wanted to start a blog, in part, to deal with all the frustration I face in my profession. Being part of the system, I really feel that we are failing. I'm not sure there is the possibility for the kind of success I'm looking for: a system where every child can be reached and motivated to succeed to the best of their abilities and in their areas of interest, while still providing them with the backgrounds to be contributing members of a democratic society and the opportunity to choose to be whatever they want, even if for now, they don't know what that is. It is a daunting goal, one I thought was possible when I went into education, but now I'm not so sure.

Look back at the history of education. Was there a time that everyone was properly taught? Of course not. 100 years ago, only a portion of young people in the country had access to education. Now all children have access, yet only a portion seem to actually benefit from it. We make education a right, not a privilege, and now it is balked at.

Educational professionals conduct studies, study other cultures and continue to try new things and yet students are continually left behind. Governments step in and make it worse.

Okay, so maybe it isn't possible to reach every child in every class every year. I don't believe that means we stop trying. But I do believe that some of the pressure put on educators needs to be released. If it isn't possible to reach every student, then we should NOT be held accountable to do so. It would be like holding parents accountable for raising their children properly. Now how silly is that?

What all this wondering has made me realize is that the system doesn't work. And it won't. So either the expectations need to change or the system needs to change. I've been increasingly interested in non-traditional learning and alternative schooling.

And in addition, since I'm rambling all over the place anyway, why is it so important that students of today meet the educational standards? Isn't the workforce filled with professionals who don't understand fractions? Do you know when the 100 years war took place or who fought in it? With the internet giving us information at our fingertips, some of the skills and knowledge that was important in the past is no longer so. Of course that means that new challenges arise - how to know if what you're reading on a blog is true, how to reasonable check that the computer calculated values properly, how to synthesize all the bytes of information out there into something useful....

But honestly, won't the world go on? If half of my students graduate without knowing algebra, won't they be okay? Weren't you?

If it's self-confidence or civil rights we're worried about, non-traditional education may be a better choice anyway. The quiet kid gets overlooked among the smarties and the behavior problems no matter how good your intentions. It's extra-curriculars where she develops a sense of who she is and what she can contribute to society. And she chose her extra-curriculars -- she wants to be there. The young black male who comes from a good home but fails his classes anyway often finds solace in sports, where he feels confident about his abilities, not in the classroom, where he feels he stands out. Sure, our culture needs to change in that respect, and honestly, I don't have a good grasp of this issue, but I keep coming back to this idea of allowing students to follow their own paths, write their own goals and seek their own sources of education.

In that world, some will find success right away. Others may rebel and walk down the wrong road only to find what they were looking for years later. I suppose that's what our education system is trying to avoid. It's trying to keep everyone in the same place, making the same leaps and decisions at the same time. More and more, I find that ridiculous. We're supposed to toil in this world. We're supposed to walk down the wrong road so we can learn what the right one looks like. Is this world I'm creating in my head fair for everyone? Not by current standards. But I'm not convinced that our current system is fair either, by any standards.

First Start

This probably won't be my only "starting" piece on this blog. I'm not even sure what it will eventually be about, have as a theme or unifying structure. All I do know is that I've been sad this weekend. And sad is something I am more and more recently. Each bout of sadness gets worse than the last. Perhaps this blogging thing will help, but I'm not sure the root of my sadness, so I'm not sure where this writing will take me.

I've been trying to blame my sadness on my job. But honestly, I'm not sad when I'm at my job. I'm engaged, focused on the task at hand and BUSY! That leaves no time for sadness. I'm a teacher, so I put on a smile and become an actress in front of an audience each day. Sadness is not something a teacher has time for. Then the weekend comes. I could do some grading. I could watch movies. I could meet up with friends. I could partake in the hobbies I've grown to love over the years. But lately, I do none of these things. I sit on the couch with my dog and stare at my computer screen. I google "Why am I so sad?" and "I want to quit my job." Do I really want to quit my job? Some days I think that's the key. Other days I'm convinced that quitting my job will not stop the sadness but only make it worse.

Help.

I'll need a better starting blog next time. This post seems meaningless and cyclical. I suppose that's how I feel about my life too.